We have a riproaring discussion happening in the comments section over whether or not transgendered people should be included as part of the gay and lesbian movement. (Read here and here.)

It is a good and necessary discussion, I think, and one that should be happening, as the recent ENDA debacle proves. So far, our commenters have gone up to the line of name calling without crossing it - I hope it stays that way.

Both sides–that T’s belong and they do not–have very good arguments. Everyone is rational here, folks. Let’s try to listen a little and figure this out.

While the discussion continues, I’d like to add my perspective.

I was at the “Freedom on Our Own Terms” womens’ equality conference this weekend in New York. One of the things panelists discussed was the debate in 1977 over whether lesbians should be included in the fight for womens’ equality.

Women’s equality was a fragile and new thing at the time. Women had been fighting for civil equality for over 200 years (Remember Abigail Adam’s imploring her husband to “Remember the Ladies”?).

Lesbians, on the other hand, were such a new *political* group that no one knew how many there were (and lesbians themselves still talked about “sexual preference” as a “choice.”) Even if they could be counted back then, they would still have been (and are) a tiny minority compared to all women.

Lesbians wanted a lot of things that didn’t apply to all women - for example, the overturning of sodomy laws (and yes, of course they theoretically applied to heterosexuals, too, but we know the law wasn’t used against them. It was an anti-gay law).

But lesbians had been fighting right alongside straight women for a long time, and finally the “sexual preference” plank was included in the call to action they sent to Congress. Lesbians would never again be left behind in the womens’ movement. NOW now fights for equal marriage, among other lesbian rights.

OK.

I think the parallels here are obvious. Transgender folks are also a tiny minority in a larger (gay) community. They want things that don’t apply to all gays and lesbians - for example, the right to change the sex on official documents.

And they want some things all of us want, like equal marriage (very complicated for the transgendered and varying from state to state, even if they change their sex and it is “heterosexual” marriage) and the right not to be discriminated against.

I think transgendered people are wrong to dismiss everyone who wanted a T-negative ENDA to go forward as transphobes. They’re not necessarily transphobes. They just don’t think it makes sense to turn against political allies in Congress just because they aren’t where we would all like them to be. This is a fair - though conservative and maybe overly safe - position. Convince them otherwise.

The people who don’t want to include T’s alongside LGBs have another good point.

Transgendered people ARE a separate - though overlapping - community. Our needs and wants don’t always overlap.

And I’m not convinced that adding “gender” to ENDA helps gays and lesbians; I think it really is a provision that mostly helps transgenders (although the side benefits of laws are often surprising. For example, who would have predicted that adding ramps everywhere to comply with the ADA would also be great for new moms and dads with strollers?!)

But it is silly to kick people out of our movement because they are straight, as some transgenders are. Most PFLAG parents are straight, too, and no one is driving them out. We NEED straight allies.

That’s what this game is about, folks: allies. It’s the people with the most votes - not the most toys - who win at the end of the day. No one wins by making their community smaller.

Transgender people are our very close - and very, very active - allies. We should be grateful for them. If they need help, we help them, because they in turn have - and will continue to (I hope) help us.

Just like those prescient women in 1977 included lesbians - even though there was a lot of risk in doing so - we need to include transgenders. We need to include transgenders. Let me say it again: We need to include transgenders.

YES, it’s politically risky. But it’s the right thing to do. When you’re in a sinking boat, you don’t start pushing people out into the raging waters. Everyone paddles. Together.
Wow, this is a long post, and I’m impressed if you’re still with me.

Basically, I want to say this: I don’t know what the answer is. I don’t. I don’t know how to keep our Congressional allies while at the same time keeping our transgender allies. But we need to find a way to do it.

Transgender rights don’t threaten gay rights, just like gay rights don’t threaten straight rights. More rights are more. More equality is always better.

Instead of entrenching ourselves in sides, let’s please, please keep talking. We can only figure this out through discussion. And we can only discuss if we really listen and really hear.

Add your voice. Tells us what you think. But don’t take other people down and don’t shut other people up. Believe it or not, we’re all on the same side.